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Sometimes Faith is difficult. Having faith requires knowing and believing everything is working out in your favor even though you can't see it. I have unwavering faith. Faith that everything will be fine. However, fine is not always giving me what I want. And I want things to be fine....but I want what I want and what I believe in my heart is best and what is going to be. That's where the wobble comes in. Faith requires us to know that no matter what is happening it is for our highest good and the highest good for everyone involved. Fear, for me, comes when I have faith but I'm not sure that the good that's coming is going to get to me where I want it to, the way I want it to and in the time I want it to. Sound familiar? Here is how I get through that...
Having lunch with my son the other day and we were discussing pretty much everything and anything. We got to the topic of not seeing how certain situations would change. My son, in his infinite wisdom (he totally gets that from me 😉) tells me to look at the last 4 years alone. Would we have ever seen us moving to Florida, him quitting baseball, moving to North Carolina, then back here to Florida etc? No. Never. And today on my face book memories it was funny because in 2015 I was in Florida visiting my dad and saying I missed Arizona because of the humidity and rain here. Then in 2016 I arrived in Florida to my new home, 2017 showed my kids and daughter in law in the pool and my heart was happy but missing my oldest who was estranged and living in New Jersey , 2018 showed me missing my middle son because he was in NC....and now? We are all in the same place again with completely different lives then we ever pictured even a year ago. Had I known in 2015 what the next four years would bring in order to get to now? I would have been crawled up in a corner sucking my thumb and crying for my mommy. It was a TOUGH road. But this is where we need to be and all of that needed to take place to get here. So, sometimes when God isn't showing you the answers to your prayers or a clear vision of what is to come it is to protect you, and to allow you to be open to the path leading to the destination you're wanting. Sometimes it is so that you don't resist what it's going to take to get you there. Or that you don't sit back and just wait for the destination and miss the lessons along the way.
Basically, whenever I feel worried, or fearful that things aren't going as planned I look back and see the reasons why things happened as they did. It's usually pretty crystal clear. And that knowledge helps me have faith that right now is no different. So the moral of the story is....have faith....and hope...and trust that the road ahead might not be smooth or paved with gold, but it will lead you to where you need to be. God Bless The long and winding road....
