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I was planning to write a blog about manipulation. And how I’m very naive to it when I love someone. But wait I need to start at the beginning.
I’m not easily manipulated…I can usually smell bullshit from a mile away. I am a pretty good judge of character and am not easily swayed or pressured into doing anything I don’t want to do (which took decades but that’s another story). I was going to say that I’m not easily manipulated unless I love you. Then? I’m like a doe eyed deer who has such faith in you that I can’t believe you would ever purposefully do anything to manipulate me. Why? Because I love you (duh!) and I don’t give my love to just any random human. Unless you share my dna- then you get a free pass and I love you because you’re my family. That as well has changed over time. I remember my daddy saying “I love (fill in the blank) because they’re my (fill in the blank) but I don’t like them. Bam! That stuck with me for sure. However, putting it into practice and differentiating the two took a long time (I’m slow when it comes to matters of the heart).
Now I have been manipulated by people I love many times. My daughter will say “Ma you do what you think is best but I just don’t want you to be manipulated because you feel guilty”. How did she get so wise? But when I looked at the actual definition of manipulation today (the action of influencing or controlling someone or something to your advantage, often without anyone knowing it) I realized that perhaps it’s NOT manipulation but an issue with the way I handle love. It’s not necessarily that someone is manipulating me—-it’s that when I love someone I want to do everything in my power to make their lives better. If they’re unhappy and I can do something to ease that—I want to!!! Because I love them. That’s not their fault it’s my issue-right? They’re not asking me to love them this way-in fact maybe it’s irritating to them who knows.
Some Wednesday wisdom huh? I started out trying to advise people against being manipulated by people they love when in fact I just realized I’m not being manipulated—I just love too intensely. So what do I do? Stay tuned because that’s something I’m going to have to figure out—-it will be another day in the life.
