Just hold on loosely, but don't let go!

 Happy 2025!  So far?  So good!  Now I say that as if it's all been sunshine and rainbows.  I ended 2024 in a magnificent place, with this hope in my heart and joy in my soul.  It was a really nice change of pace from the last (dare I say) almost decade?  I am trying to keep that momentum going during this beginning of the next decade and I am doing a pretty good job.  Does this mean that things are smooth sailing over here in the Midwest?  Umm no!  I am human, after all, and I have a pretty big birthday looming around the corner which I must admit is attempting to affect me the way my 20th and 30th did - not well bitch.  My 40th and 50th were not terrible.  I don't usually allow the number to affect me, but this one?  It is not my friend.  I feel certain age-related things creeping in - and between me and you?  I am not allowing it.  Nope.  I refuse to feel my age ever.  I type this I can't deny there are tears welling up in my eyes.  How did I get here?  I still feel like that 20-year-old girl adjusting to my parents moving away and having to attempt to be a grown up.  What happened to the last 40 years?  So much and yet not enough.  How do I get myself out of this funk and these thoughts that are threatening to consume me?  I will tell you how, by remembering this little tidbit - Life can change in an INSTANT - good or bad - so it's best not to get too far ahead of yourself or look back too far.  

When life seems stagnant or like your dreams are not going to come true, I urge you to think of a time when you got a call or a text or a meeting that changed everything very unexpectedly.  Life can change in an instant.  As I am typing this so many of those moments are racing through my mind.  Feeling sad or alone and you get a life changing phone call or text or email from someone you were not expecting.  Life will never be the same.  Having a good day and then an argument starts, and everything crumbles, and you feel like the rug is pulled out from under you.  Life will never be the same.   A random meeting with someone new that changes everything.  Life will never be the same.  Some of those moments are burned on your brain and you remember every detail - you can even put yourself right back in that moment.  Some you can barely remember but you know it changed life as you knew it.  I think a lot of us focus on the bad change moments - those I can usually remember very vividly - a summer night in 1998 coming home to find out my husband was not who I hoped he was. Walking down the maternity hall and seeing your newborn in the nursery and being woken up an hour later with frantic doctors asking you to sign release forms for a spinal tap.  Leaving the hospital without your newborn 4 days later (yes, my middle son kept me on my toes!) A Wednesday before Thanksgiving in 1999 when my middle son nearly choked at the mall after I was told my $20 bill (given to me by a cub scout mom) was counterfeit and my husband came home and told me he lost his job- two weeks later I had a horrific car accident with my middle son in the car and my car was totaled. Another summer day in 2004 when I had just had surgery, and I found out my husband lost his job. Yet another summer day in 2009 when I found out my middle son had cancer at the age of 10.  Christmas Eve 2013 when my oldest decided to tell me what a horrible mother I was and disrupted the entire home and it turned out to be the last Christmas I would spend with my mother - this is depressing I think I will stop that train.  

There are a few life changing moments that were wonderful that I do remember just as vividly. The birth of each of my children.  Driving across the country and seeing the "purple mountains majesty" while entering New Mexico. Walking into your first brand new home that was more than you could ever dream of.  An email out of the blue from someone you thought was left in your past. A phone call/text/facetime announcing engagements and pregnancies. A random message that starts a relationship that changes your life. A first kiss that made the rest of the world fall away and shook the earth. A conversation while taking my son to college at a restaurant that led to him realizing he was ready to propose to his girlfriend. Picking my daughter up to find out she made Varsity cheer in her freshman year - these are but a few.  During most of these moments I had no idea what would come next, just how quickly life can change.

So, when I am in a not-so-great place I remind myself just how quickly life can change and we don't have to know how or when, we just have to trust that what is meant to be will always find a way.  And if something doesn't happen, then perhaps it wasn't meant to be and something even better than you can imagine is around the corner.  Be kind to yourself - forgive yourself for things you wish you had done differently.  I also want you to remember that miracles happen each and every day, and yours can be next!  And on those not so magical days remember - it's just a day in the life!

I’ve Got the Music in Me

 Music soothes the savage beast.  Music soothes the soul.  Music is magic.  I remember back when my kids were little I took a quiz to see what affects my moods.  I remember candles made me happy...and that I was sensitive to noise.  However, music was right up there with what could affect my mood in a powerful way,  I had a 500 CD holder and I insisted on having speakers in the ceiling of the house we had built in Arizona.  I didn't care about much else, but that was a must have for sure.  I have videos of my boys dancing from the time they could stand.  I love that my kids all love the oldies and know the lyrics of songs that a lot of kids (now adults) would not.

I once did a Facebook post asking people to post a song that reminded them of me.  It was a great experiment.  I am sure there are certain songs that automatically bring you back to a specific moment in your life, or a specific person.  With that comes a flood of feelings, some positive, some not so great.  I have made playlists labeled by people close to me and also a happy playlist and a weepy playlist.  I will try to link the happy ones here.  

Why a weepy playlist?  C'mon - haven't you ever needed a good cry?  I used to weep at the drop of the hat.  As I have gotten older and more hardened sometimes the tears just don't flow.  But you know that feeling in your throat and chest when you just know you need to let it out?  Hence, the weepy playlist.  I have been doing "brain dumps" lately more often then usual and the weepy playlist does the trick - I find myself writing things I didn't even know I felt through the tears and every single time I feel like myself when I am done.

Spotify made me a playlist called "Feel Good Classics".  I have been listening during the week at my desk and it makes my workday fly and I find myself dancing while I get another cup of coffee or have my lunch.  What a mood booster!  Even dealing with cranky guests or vendors my sing song voice is prevelant.  Powerful!

I am turning 59 years old tomorrow.  I was having a bit of a not so great day yesterday and this morning.  I didn't sleep well and woke up cranky.  That is not usually my personality and I was not having it.  So I decided to watch one of my favorite movies and then play that playlist and I instantly felt like myself.  Why haven't I done this more often?  The power in the lyrics and melodies is just magic.  It transports me to a place where life is just easy.  As I type this Sonny and Cher are singing in my ears---I got you babe! It's a time warp back to so many moments in my life.  Happy mostly...today I won't let the sad ones pop up.  Afterall - it is birthday eve and I am celebrating the gift of life.  How lucky I am to be healthy and be given another trip around the sun.  

So I challenge you.....the next time you are feeling down go to your favorite music and find that joy.  I can assure you that it won't let you down.  And when you feel better you DO better.  You can spread positivity around and the world just feels like a better place.  

It’s NOT just a day in the life!

Feel Good Oldies