Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain....we all have sorrow

 Last week was one I will never forget.  There was a hurricane set to hit Florida and the amount of stress and fear and just overall judgement and negativity was running rampant.   I usually do not get caught up in that because I just always know I am safe and protected.  But it was really hard to avoid.  I had so many people texting to see if we were evacuating or if our area was safe (which was so nice and made me feel loved) and I was definitely more aware than I usually am.  And then....I got a text from my cousin that they had found another spot on her brain and the cancer may have spread.  Then I got a text that literally made my knees buckle.  I got a text from one of my oldest and dearest friends on Wednesday night checking on my daughter and me.  Then on Thursday ---less than 24 hours later a text that her husband died.  I'm sorry what?!?!?!  Two weeks ago she was sending me photos of them during a visit to New York at all of our favorite food places - photos of her hubby eating onion rings from one of our favorite diners - and he's gone?  How?  He died of a heart attack (something called the Widow maker, how surreal) in the middle of telling a joke.  Wow.

We have always joked that we lived parallel lives.  I was a bridesmaid in her wedding....we always seemed to be a few years apart in our big life moments.  We got divorced around the same time, had kids around the same time, Moved to different states around the same times.  But in 2015 she got married to the love of her life.  That is where our parallel lives were not so parallel.  And now?  He's gone.  She called me last night and I felt fear run through my body.  I truly had no idea what I was going to say to her?  My big thing is everything happens for a reason - God has a plan.  Well how the hell was I going to try to interpret the plan or reason for this?  I didn't have to.  She told me she knew she needed to lean into God and turn to him and that she felt her husband in her soul.  She said "I know if anyone understands that it would be you".  Wow.  just wow.  She is planning to really embrace her faith and turn to it for solace.  She thanked me for sharing my faith so freely and that whenever she wavered she would reach out to me.

I have really been struggling since I got her text - I just could not wrap my brain around what she must be feeling, how she was going to live in their home surrounded by his presence - how do you function?  How do you carry on after losing the love of your life?  How do you recover being a widow at 55?  How do any of us carry on after loss?  For me?  I turn to God and my faith - if I did not have that I do not know what I would do.  At the same time I was receiving videos and photos from my son and daughter in law from their trip to Europe - talk about opposite ends of the spectrum.   I felt like my insides were in the middle of a ping pong game.  But no matter what, life goes on.  All the tragedy going on in Florida and North Carolina - in the middle of people trying to rent homes to flee the hurricane.  Life goes on.  I'm in the middle of a cross country move.  Life goes on.  How do you stay hopeful and grateful and not let things like this level you?  Faith.  At the end of the day that's all we have, and it's necessary to remember it is just a day in the life-and good or bad, we need to embrace it.

https://gofund.me/ea597f3e

Here’s a go fund me link for my dear friend if you’re able and want to help