Tick-tock on the clock, but the party don't stop

 

It's Sunday, glorious Sunday.  But half of the USA is freaking out about a TikTok ban.  It is making my stomach turn, honestly.  During our morning coffee conversation I had to tell my daughter I could not listen to another thing about Tik Tok and we needed to change the subject.  Yes, I am a bit cranky - I am turning 60 this week, doesn't that come with the territory?  No?  Just some discounts and my body having a few extra creeks?  Ok.  Well then I'm just cranky today.

BUT - this whole insanity revolving around a stupid social media app got my brain going.  I do have a tik tok account, I must be clear - during 2020 shut down it entertained me.  Yes, I have been known to purchase a thing or two off of the Tik Tok shop - guilty.  But I can assure you my life will go on with or without it.  I never realized how much money people made on this app until everyone thought it was going away.  I am not going to lie it pissed me off and terrified me at the same time.  Are we watching a generation grow up without the ability to have a "real job?"  Don't get me wrong - I applaud them for finding a way to avoid the typical 9-5 - I think that's admirable.  I am all for spending your free time doing things you love and with the people you love instead of glued to a desk or a computer or your phone.  However, they are making a living without any real skills to carry them in their later years or if (gasp!) the app gets banned.  AND they are relying on the rest of the world being glued to their damn phones while they take a break from their 9-5 or they relax to recharge after a long week.  Jeez, in a minute I am going to be screaming "Get off my lawn!" I sound so cynical and old.  But I am not.  I am realizing that things need to change in my life as well.  And I have faith that President Trump will not allow the app to be banned (because we live in a free country after all - ask any soldier who has served what the price for that is!) but it almost makes me sad.  I wish it was being banned, but I don't think it will change anything until people are ready to change.

Life is meant to be lived.  Have I mentioned I am turning 60?  I have?  See the mind goes as you get older 😏.  Seriously though - life is short.  Way too short.  And how much of it are we wasting waiting for the next best thing?  Waiting for the weekend, for a holiday, for vacation blah blah blah.  I made a point years ago to not wait for anything.  To live my life to the fullest every day.  Now - my needs are simple.  I don't have a huge bucket list to check off.  I don't need to accomplish a certain thing before xyz happens.  My goals?  To be happy and healthy and find the joy in every single day.  And it works.  I am telling you.  It works!  Am I happy all day every day? Umm no, I just said I was cranky today - are you paying attention? 😎.  However, I have peace in my soul and joy in my heart every day.  Why?  Because I don't have regrets.  If there is something I need to say to someone - I say it.  When I miss someone - I tell them.  When I love someone I show it.  I don't care if it is reciprocated, I don't care if I look pathetic or needy - that's more on the other person no?  I am being genuine.  So I don't have any huge heavy things hanging over me.  Like wow I wish I had..... nope been there done that.  It is very freeing and healthy.   Try it!

Another key to happiness is FAITH.  Yes, faith.  That is the cornerstone to my life.  I never realized how much my dad taught me about faith without even realizing it.  He used to say - "whatever will be will be, if you can't change it why worry? " And another one - "God says are you going to worry about it?  Because if you will then I won't". and my FAVORITE "God has it - it will be okay" Growing up I never realized how potent those statements were.  Wow, I still can't type about my dad without tears - damn it.  I thought they were just cliches.  But I realize now how they weren't - they were life lessons and proof of how to live your life.  When I hear my son and daughter discuss their faith and how they turn to God consistently it makes me feel like my life was well lived.  I did my job with those two.  They are incredible human beings and if I had even a little something to do with shaping them into that than my life was a success.  Now, I want so badly to instill that in every person I come across.  My friend told me yesterday "I know if I want someone to just pacify me, you are not the one to go to."  Yup.  That's right.  I won't allow someone to stay in a pity party - please don't invite me.  Am I compassionate?  To a Fault.  Do I have sympathy for other people?  So very much.  Will I allow you to set up camp in a place where you are obsessing over something instead of giving it to God and having faith?  Yea, no sorry.

When people tell me how shocked they are that I have moved to 3 different states without really every being there and ask me if I was scared.  I answer honestly - no.  Why?  Because I listened to my inner GPS (God is loud when you listen!) And I know that any situation I face, He has been there before me and will stand with me through it all.  What do I have to fear?  Ask yourself that!  What is the worst thing that will happen if you follow that guidance?  Tell someone how you feel?  Find a different career path?  Newsflash - whatever is meant to be will happen - Destiny/Fate it's all mapped out already.  The difference is - the longer you drag your heels or fear an outcome the harder life will be.  You will have the same outcome eventually, but with a lot more pain, bumps and bruises.

So, this very long rant is basically just to encourage you to find something every day that brings you joy - and try to make it not involve your phone and scrolling aimlessly watching other people live theirs.  Because at the end of the day - it's a very important day in the life!

Just hold on loosely, but don't let go!

 Happy 2025!  So far?  So good!  Now I say that as if it's all been sunshine and rainbows.  I ended 2024 in a magnificent place, with this hope in my heart and joy in my soul.  It was a really nice change of pace from the last (dare I say) almost decade?  I am trying to keep that momentum going during this beginning of the next decade and I am doing a pretty good job.  Does this mean that things are smooth sailing over here in the Midwest?  Umm no!  I am human, after all, and I have a pretty big birthday looming around the corner which I must admit is attempting to affect me the way my 20th and 30th did - not well bitch.  My 40th and 50th were not terrible.  I don't usually allow the number to affect me, but this one?  It is not my friend.  I feel certain age-related things creeping in - and between me and you?  I am not allowing it.  Nope.  I refuse to feel my age ever.  I type this I can't deny there are tears welling up in my eyes.  How did I get here?  I still feel like that 20-year-old girl adjusting to my parents moving away and having to attempt to be a grown up.  What happened to the last 40 years?  So much and yet not enough.  How do I get myself out of this funk and these thoughts that are threatening to consume me?  I will tell you how, by remembering this little tidbit - Life can change in an INSTANT - good or bad - so it's best not to get too far ahead of yourself or look back too far.  

When life seems stagnant or like your dreams are not going to come true, I urge you to think of a time when you got a call or a text or a meeting that changed everything very unexpectedly.  Life can change in an instant.  As I am typing this so many of those moments are racing through my mind.  Feeling sad or alone and you get a life changing phone call or text or email from someone you were not expecting.  Life will never be the same.  Having a good day and then an argument starts, and everything crumbles, and you feel like the rug is pulled out from under you.  Life will never be the same.   A random meeting with someone new that changes everything.  Life will never be the same.  Some of those moments are burned on your brain and you remember every detail - you can even put yourself right back in that moment.  Some you can barely remember but you know it changed life as you knew it.  I think a lot of us focus on the bad change moments - those I can usually remember very vividly - a summer night in 1998 coming home to find out my husband was not who I hoped he was. Walking down the maternity hall and seeing your newborn in the nursery and being woken up an hour later with frantic doctors asking you to sign release forms for a spinal tap.  Leaving the hospital without your newborn 4 days later (yes, my middle son kept me on my toes!) A Wednesday before Thanksgiving in 1999 when my middle son nearly choked at the mall after I was told my $20 bill (given to me by a cub scout mom) was counterfeit and my husband came home and told me he lost his job- two weeks later I had a horrific car accident with my middle son in the car and my car was totaled. Another summer day in 2004 when I had just had surgery, and I found out my husband lost his job. Yet another summer day in 2009 when I found out my middle son had cancer at the age of 10.  Christmas Eve 2013 when my oldest decided to tell me what a horrible mother I was and disrupted the entire home and it turned out to be the last Christmas I would spend with my mother - this is depressing I think I will stop that train.  

There are a few life changing moments that were wonderful that I do remember just as vividly. The birth of each of my children.  Driving across the country and seeing the "purple mountains majesty" while entering New Mexico. Walking into your first brand new home that was more than you could ever dream of.  An email out of the blue from someone you thought was left in your past. A phone call/text/facetime announcing engagements and pregnancies. A random message that starts a relationship that changes your life. A first kiss that made the rest of the world fall away and shook the earth. A conversation while taking my son to college at a restaurant that led to him realizing he was ready to propose to his girlfriend. Picking my daughter up to find out she made Varsity cheer in her freshman year - these are but a few.  During most of these moments I had no idea what would come next, just how quickly life can change.

So, when I am in a not-so-great place I remind myself just how quickly life can change and we don't have to know how or when, we just have to trust that what is meant to be will always find a way.  And if something doesn't happen, then perhaps it wasn't meant to be and something even better than you can imagine is around the corner.  Be kind to yourself - forgive yourself for things you wish you had done differently.  I also want you to remember that miracles happen each and every day, and yours can be next!  And on those not so magical days remember - it's just a day in the life!