As I evolve and change and become more in tuned with the Law of Attraction and my angels and just the person I am inside I am getting more impatient with those that are not where I am. It's not a good thing but I have no doubt that it is part of my growth process and a necessary one. I need to learn to be silent. I need to learn that not everything requires a response or a comment. This is extremely difficult for me. I am a talker.... I am a fixer.....I am a conversationalist.....but right now that makes me argumentative. People are pissing me off left and right. My life at the moment is basically a total tornado. There is so much negativity swirling around me and so many REAL issues that are life changing that peoples tiny little petty crap that is self induced and insignificant is frustrating me to no end!
My angels scream it into my head daily. I wish they would put my hand over my mouth and take the negative emotion of anger away from me. I am learning to release control of things...this is like asking me to become a man --it's that difficult! But I am doing it...making good progress and feeling great about it. However, being in the company of people who are still trying to control every tiny detail of life and then deny that they are doing it is making me nuts! Or worse than that, people who continuously do the same thing day in and day out and wonder "why does this keep happening to me?" Oy vey. I know it is time for me to take a step back from society and the people in my life while I go through this transformation and these crappy situations that have taken over my life right now. I am spewing negativity and I hate that! I have come so far and this set back is devastating me. I don't like being the person who bitches all the time, I know that it just brings me more to bitch about---I just am having trouble stopping. And the more I am around people the harder it is for me to be that positive person I've worked so hard to become. I know that the time is coming that a lot of people will have to be removed from my life in order for me to move forward on the path that I want to travel....the path I am destined to travel. It's just easier said than done. I am a life vest for a lot of people. I am the voice of reason, the one who can make them laugh and pick up their down moods. Well that's great and I love doing it---but at some point I have to look at myself and say---who does that for me? Those are the people that I need to surround myself with. Where are they? I'm not going to attract them if I keep surrounding myself with negative Nellys/Neds. This has happened before in my life....whenever you change and grow then some of the "excess" needs to fall away---that excess is negative people or people that just make me feel negative emotions (anger, frustration, sadness, and the one I feel the most---used and taken advantage of). It's never easy, but it is necessary and I know this. And the more I trust in God and ask Him to bring me a certain kind of person the more He delivers. I am manifesting good things all the time. I just need to be quicker to release what no longer serves me in my path to my higher self. I'm stubborn, and working on it.
In the meantime....silence is golden and I need to learn to just BE QUIET! Keep my thoughts to myself and not share every one with the world. I'm a work in progress and I know I will love the finished result.....