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Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Siblings are the gift you're not sure you ever asked for.....but it keeps on giving

Yesterday was apparently National Sibling Day.  Who knew?  I swear I want to meet the person who invents these days.  National Puppy Day, Siblings day, people with a larger second toe than big toe day....c'mon!  However, I do love my siblings and yesterday did make me realize some things.

My daughter posted a snap chat dedicated to her brothers.  What a way to start my day!  My daughter is not the mushy, sentimental type.  It meant a lot that she did that.  If any of my kids were to do that I would have thought it would have been my Creme Filling son.  He's my mushy one, outwardly.  I've been spending a lot of time with my kids one on one lately, mostly because they all have different schedules and there is usually someone awake at any hour of the day.  We have been having more family dinners because the schedules have been matching up.  It's so much nicer than when they were little and they would fight for voice time and attention.  Now it's usually either a deep topic or it's someone being goofy and someone running from the table choking from laughter. It's so nice to watch them become friends.  My boys went out the other night at 1:00am to Waffle House together and sat outside talking until the early hours of the morning.  Such a happy discovery for me the next morning.  My creme filling son made his sister a virgin pina colada and himself a real one and they played board games the other night.  All without me having to be part of it.(they invited me, of course, but I really wasn't in the mood) It was oddly comforting. I want them to have relationships with each other that have nothing to do with me. There was a time when that would have sent me into a sheer panic to think about life without my kids needing me every second.  Now?  It is welcome.  I'm ready for the next stage of life! My oldest and youngest have a tumultuous relationship.  It will pass. There was a time when they were thick as thieves and my middle son was at odds with one or both of them.  It's the nature of siblings and growing pains.   It still happens with my siblings and me.

Since I was a little girl this is what I wanted.  This family that I have built.  They would rather spend time with each other than anyone else in the world.  My son and I had a conversation about it the other night during one of our famous talks.  (Both of us are in long distance relationships at the moment so we have a lot of time to talk.  That will change soon, as the long distance comes to an end for him, so I am enjoying every moment.)  We were talking about the fact that we are all very happy just having each other (and for him and me our significant others) and we don't need a lot of outside people in our lives.  We do everything together.  I think if we had stayed on Long Island things would have been different, but I don't think we would be as happy or peaceful as we are now.  We lived in Arizona for 12 years and although we made important friendships it never overshadowed the closeness we have with each other.  We were on the topic of reincarnation and what we believe.  He said he thinks this is all of our last times on earth.  When I asked him why he said, "because I think we've all learned what we needed to, experienced what we needed to.  I don't want another mom or siblings or another love of my life.  The ones I have are perfect for me, so why would I have to reincarnate?"  Good point.  How lucky are we?  It's just a day in the life....

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