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Saturday, September 6, 2014

Why I love to hate Facebook

Facebook....gotta love it right?  Wrong!  Or, right...depends on the day!  I have found reasons to both love and hate that site and I find myself taking periodic breaks from it for my own sanity (and if I'm being totally honest--which I always am--- for the protection of my "friends")  I was having a conversation with my oldest son this morning about the perils of social media.  He is vehemently against anything mainstream, he's become a minimalist and anti pretty much everything society stands for.  I can't say I disagree.  I'm just older and I realize the benefits of some of societies ways.  He is at a point in his life where he feels the need to take a strong stance one way or another.  I admire his will and his strength.  

Facebook, I feel becomes addictive to people.  It's a way of proving to the rest of the world how amazing your life is.  My sister and I had a conversation the other day about how some people's lives seem so interesting and fun and just plain better than ours.  I pointed out to my sister that I call bullshit on that.  If your life is so fabulous why the hell aren't you just living it, why feel the need to FB it?  Because you want people to be envious of you---ummm then something HUGE is missing from your life my dear.  I told my sister that I get wistful reading people's posts in the summer (most of the people I am friends with on FB are from the East Coast) because everyone is having barbeques and are at the Beach (sigh...the beach...can't help it--that's my happy place) and here in Arizona the summers are more like the rest of the country's winters---dull and boring.   I realize that and honestly?  I am not an envious person.  I am happy with my life and if I wasn't, I would change it.  Simple as that.  However, I know I am a minority.  So FB makes some people feel sad and depressed that their lives aren't as good as someone else's (facebook life, who knows what their real life is like--let's be honest) ---#1 reason for not liking FB.

I also hate that some people misinterpret my FB posts and think it's about them.  I'm not 12 years old....you can damn well believe that if I have something to say to you I will do just that.  Say it TO you (jeez have you met me?)...sometimes I find something funny or inspiring or insightful and I share it on FB.  My wall, my choice---there's a little unfollow or unfriend button---feel free to use it at any time if you don't like what you see.  In my older years (oh hell, who am I kidding in the last 2 months) I've learned that my response to people's rants or disagreements with me and my thinking are really not necessary.  I've learned to say "I'm not having this conversation" and leave it at that.  Why?  Because in the past I've been hell bent on getting someone else to see my point of view...to validate that I am right.  To SEE where I'm coming from.  The beautiful part about being 49 1/2 is that I just don't care about that anymore :)   I can agree to disagree and move on with my peaceful existence.  Ahhhh...it feels wonderful!   #2 reason for not liking FB

I used to follow a lot of people and pages and get all these notifications on my phone and jeez, it could take up my whole day just catching up on FB.  I also had a ton of "friends" that made me censor what I posted.  Yea, that wasn't working for me.  So when I got divorced I deleted my FB account and started fresh---with only my close family and friends and I blocked a TON of people so they couldn't find me.  I even went with just my first and middle name to make myself even more invisible.  It was awesome.  I loved it!  Only the people I was closest to were part of my FB world.  Then I opened my business page last year and "met" a lot of amazing women that I was drawn to become friends with.  There are a few that I've friended on my personal page as well---loved it, love them.  All is right with the world.  Then I wrote my book.  I added that to my personal page and then I finally shared my blog on my personal page....ehhhhh maybe not such a great idea.  But last month I did a stupid thing.  I changed my name to my real name and unblocked the ton of people all in the name of freedom and figuring why hide?  Dummy.  I became friends with a few people from High School that were truly people I liked.  Now every day FB decides to show me a million people I didn't like, didn't know or didn't care about as possible people I would want to be friends with--- no Thank you !  Just because I have 8 friends from high school doesn't mean the other 1492 people I graduated with are people I want to reconnect with.  I have 6 friend requests from people I don't even remember!  Number 3 reason not to like FB

So, I took a break from FB deactivated my account, then I got a free shipping special on my book so I reactivated it to share that but I'm not doing anything else on there.  I feel wonderful!  I love it, BUT here's what I'll miss about FB---

Seeing my family across the country and keeping up with their children and lives.  Most of them keep in contact with me via text so it's not too bad.  And honestly, if people mean enough to you then you'll find a way to keep in touch.

There are certain people that I've reconnected with that I don't think I would have been able to connect with if it wasn't for FB---so for that I will always be grateful to Mark Zuckerberg for his brilliant invention.  Somethings are best left in the past...but some things belong in your future even if they were left behind for reasons and seasons.

So, for the most part- thank you FB for what you've done for me, professionally and also personally but I think (for now) we will have to part ways <3  Nothing personal but everything has it's season.


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