Popping my Bubble

With all the changes I've gone through in the past 3-5 years it is only natural that new people and places come into my life.  I don't like change.  I don't like new.  But, the next half of my life is calling and I need to answer it.  So many people and things have told me I need to let go of the past.  I need to be open to new experiences and new people and whatever life has in store for me.  I'm trying.  That doesn't mean I have to like it.  I used to be able to have a conversation with just about anyone.  I used to be able to make new friends quickly and easily.  I don't like that anymore.  Of course, if you ask any of my friends who have been out with me in public they will tell you that I still have that "gift", I do still strike up conversations with people but I'm not as comfortable doing it as I used to be.  I enjoy living in my little bubble.  I'm kinda pissed that it keeps getting popped.

I'm sort of up in arms this year about my son having to work on Thanksgiving.  It's the first year ever we won't eat dinner as a family.  If you've been reading my blog all along you will know that family dinner is kinda a big deal to me.  I've adjusted to only having it once or twice a week.  I don't like it, but I've put on my big girl panties and I've adjusted.  But THANKSGIVING?  Really?  That's like the biggest family dinner day of the year, just sayin'.  It's an entire day dedicated to dinner.  And this year, there will be one chair empty at our table.  But as my snarky 20 year old informed me today "You know what's great about holidays Ma?  As long as we don't die we get another one next year!"    Yes, I did want to smack him (just kidding, kinda) but he's right.  It's just one.  But its the FIRST one.  And this has opened up a whole new world for me.

I have never considered the many, many people who have to work on holidays.  I have been up in arms about the whole Black Friday running into Thanksgiving fiasco, but I never thought about the people that work at restaurants or movie theaters or grocery stores that have to work too!  I remember one year when I still lived in New York and I hosted Thanksgiving for my family every year I forgot to get heavy cream for the mashed potatoes.  Now, this is not the end of the world by any means.  But, since 7-11 was open 24 hrs a day anyway I did send my ex out to get it from 7-11.  I specifically told him under no circumstances to go to the grocery store.  I wanted creamy potatoes, but I still had standards after all :)  Then a few years back we got a bad turkey.  I knew it smelled funky, but I cooked it anyway.  Ohhhh MMMMM  GGGGG!  The smell in the house was rancid!  Thanksgiving was ruined!  Well, I figured the grocery store people were there anyway so I went over and picked up a small turkey breast to save Thanksgiving.  I felt guilty about it though, not going to lie, and if they weren't open oh well, we wouldn't have had turkey that year.  Not a travesty!  Anyway, where was I ?  Oh right--my bubble being popped!

Last night I went out with some friends for a late night snack and the manager of the restaurant was chatting with us when we said how empty the restaurant was.  I asked about Christmas and Thanksgiving (I'm obsessed I tell you!  This outrage is not ok with me) and he told me they are packed from open to close on both holidays.  My jaw dropped open.  I said "There are that many people with no where to go and have to eat alone?"  (tears were brimming...I was ready to hang a sign up on my door to take them in) he said, "Oh no! There are families packing this place"....WHAT????  People don't stay home or go to family on holidays?  Seriously?  I felt like Alice in Wonderland when she fell down the rabbit hole.  Now I went from feeling bad for the workers to feeling bad for these families.  No home cooked meal on a holiday?  No smells in the kitchen? No pretty table decorations?  No LEFTOVERS? Pop went my bubble.  There is a whole other world that goes on outside my door I tell you and I wasn't sure I liked it.  No, I definitely didn't like it!  Being the obsessed, crazed woman I am I mulled it over before bed, and then again today--a lot.  Then I realized....maybe these people ENJOY their traditions.  Maybe the people that work on the holidays don't all mind it.  Maybe it's not a huge deal to them, kinda like I despise New Years Eve (I'd love to work on New Years eve I tell ya!).  Who says my way is the right way?  There is a whole other way of doing things out there obviously.  None that I think I prefer, but out there nonetheless.  

Now that my bubble is popped I am eager to see what else I've been missing.  Who knows?  2015 might bring a whole new me <3