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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

The girl who stole my son's heart...

Since my boys were little people have teased me about what it would be like for me when they grew up and fell in love and eventually got married.  Everyone said they felt sorry for the girls my sons chose, like I would be a monster in law.  You know, those mothers they make movies about--the ones who hold onto their sons so tightly and cause problems with them and the women in their lives.  I knew I would never do that, but I kept my mouth shut.  Let them think what they want, I thought, I knew better.  I was wholly accepted by the mothers of the boys I dated in high school.  They always made me feel like part of the family, told me how happy they were that I was dating their son.  I wanted to be THAT mother.  The one who was happy that their son had a girl that really cared about them and was loyal and liked being around the family.  I was determined not to be controlling and jealous and all those ugly traits.  I usually accomplish what I set out to do in life.

Today, I spent some time with my youngest son's girlfriend.  I took her to do some prom preparation and we sat and talked for a really long time.  We've been spending more time together lately and I have truly realized how blessed my son is.   Everyone knows how much I adore my son, so I'm not saying he's not a good catch.  But this young woman is truly incredible.  I was an 18 year old girl once and I can assure you I was not nearly as selfless or grounded as she is.  

I have prayed over the years for the future spouses of my children.  I asked for them to love my children unconditionally.  I asked for them to love the rest of my family and for them all to get along.  I have seen first hand how spouses can come between siblings and make for huge family rifts.  I swore that would not happen in my family.  I have told my children this.  They know I wouldn't stand for any of that, so they should choose wisely.  

I know that my son and his girlfriend are young, but so many people reunite in their later years with their high school loves.  I think it's because most teenagers don't have the maturity to give a relationship what it needs to succeed, but when time and growth occurs their hearts find their way back to each other.  Wouldn't it be amazing if my son and his girlfriend didn't have to wait?  If they could get it right the first time?  It would save so much heartache.  My nephew and his wife have been together since they were 13 and just got married last year.  They are blissfully happy.  It's not impossible.

During our talk today we discussed life paths and how God always makes sure you are where you are supposed to be.  I love that she thinks like that---it's my only way of thinking.  With that being said, if they are meant to be together they will be, I know that.  But as I sat and chatted with her, this precious girl who stole my son's heart, I couldn't help but believe she was an answer to this mother's prayer.  To see how she understands my son, loves him completely and totally----how excited she is about their future.  She is willing to go to the ends of the earth with him, for him.  And not in a teenage crush stars in the eyes kinda way.  It's more than that.  She weathered a really difficult time in my family last year and she stayed right by his side and helped him through it. His devotion to me and to his siblings?  She gets it.  She embraces it.  She understands it.  She knows that I am really important to him, she understands that we have a bond that is stronger than most.  She is ok with it.  She even says how happy she is that I'm his mom.  Most girls could not deal with it.  I don't think I could!  I make it a point to let her know that I am fair and I definitely help him understand her point of view and show him when he's not being fair to her.  He listens.  My opinion is still extremely important to him right now. My son is a very complex young man.  He is not easy to understand (even though he is an amazing communicator) or deal with.  He's intense....all the time....(gulp...I may or may not have been that way at some point ;) )makes it REALLY hard some days to put up with.  Lord knows I struggle at times with him, and I'm his mom-I love him unconditionally.  But his girlfriend?  She makes it her mission to be there for him and understand him.  Most teenage girls are all about them...not this one.  She knows what's important, she sees the big picture, the finish line.  She follows her heart.  She's definitely the answer to this mother's prayers.  

Last year I wrote a letter in my blog to my son's future wife.  I can't predict the future, and only God knows for sure but I can't imagine anyone better for my son.  xoxoxo
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