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Saturday, October 29, 2016

All I needed was the love you gave...And all I ever knew... Only you

I've been spending a lot of time at Disney World lately....you know, fairy tales....happily ever after....princes....you know the score.  I used to watch it all and think yea...nice story.  How about the real world.  Well......I don't think that anymore.  Because my life.....it's better than the movies.  It's better than the fairy tale....it's the Notebook on steroids.  I've kept it in for long enough it's time to let it out.  Yes, I've mentioned snippets here and there but at the risk of making someone else feel bad I've kept a lot of it to myself....I don't want to be the reason someone else looks at their relationship as less than.  I've been on the other side most of my life and it sucks.  But then my love made me look at it in a different way (he always does!  he's brilliant, I need to preface this with that tidbit)  I told him the other day that I felt like I was becoming a relationship snob.  I am having trouble watching people struggle when we feel a relationship should be as easy as breathing, and if it's not then it should be.  He said, "we're not snobs, we just want everyone to be as happy as we are.  I think that makes us humanitarians".  See what I mean?  He's brilliant.

I'm writing this not to brag or make anyone feel badly.  I'm writing this so that you never stop believing it's possible!  I'm a big believer in positive thinking, so is he.  That's a huge bonus in the easy as breathing department.  No resistance from either party.  No naysayer, no negative Nelly.  Another big plus was that we were friends first.  There was no pressure to impress each other or play games or manipulate.  We were just loving the fact that we found another person who was like minded and we enjoyed talking to.  A lot.  We talked for hours and hours....we still do.  Communication with us is like breathing.  I am the one who still has work to do....I'm unlearning behaviors from the past and he is patiently helping me do it.  We have had our share of "moments" but we are always stronger and closer after them.  That's a huge part of it.  Disagreements and issues should bring you closer and to a better understanding of your partner afterwards.  It's not about who's right or wrong it's about working out the issue in the best interest of the partnership.  I could go on and on about that but let's be honest.....most people that are in unhappy or difficult relationships won't see themselves in any of this and most likely think I'm full of shit.  So be it.

Here's my wish for every person alive.....that they have this feeling.....every minute of the day for the rest of their lives.  This overwhelming love bursting out of them that brings such joy that sometimes (a lot) tears run down their face from pure joy and gratitude for this person who inspires this love.  The feeling that they are with you even when they're not.  That they are right beside you with every step you take and you know they love you back with the same intensity and passion.  You have this partner that you truly (I swear on my kids!) love more every single minute that goes by.  And just when you think it's not possible to love another human being any more than you love them....it happens!  You do, you love them more!  How amazing is that?  And better yet, you know they feel the same.  That everyone around you sees the difference this person has brought into your life.  You're brighter, different in an intangible way.  You're peaceful, happy....it's indescribable.  Even when stress and illness and exhaustion and sadness touch your life deep inside you are joyful and blissful because of this person and the partnership you have.  You have a gift you get to open every single day and it's like nothing you've ever experienced.  I want that for everyone! And I'm living proof that it's possible.

I was struggling a few weeks ago about my purpose...my reason for being alive.  With the help of my cousin I realized that my purpose in this world is to be the best partner I can be for him....to support him and to love him and to always be his safe haven.  To make our home the happiest place for everyone who lives here.  To some people that might not seem like enough...but to me?  It's the most important job in the world and I will make sure that I follow through with it every day of my life.  I'm blessed far more than I deserve with this day in the life.....
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