I woke up this morning and I was transported back to 1970. When I would wake up on Valentines day to presents from my daddy. I was on the phone with my sister and I just started sobbing. This boy of mine....he's a man now....just never ceases to amaze me. He is so strong and wise beyond his years. He has a heart that knows no bounds. His love for us and his fiance is priceless. I often wonder that he puts way too much pressure on himself but he is happiest when he is making others happy. I just described myself.
The letter he wrote me is one that every mother should strive to receive. I am always telling him he gives me way too much credit for my place in his life. He insists he doesn't love everyone and he doesn't give out freebies! He has shown that recently...he holds people accountable for their actions. But, I'll take it....even for today because my heart could use a band-aid and this healed it. It's proof that everything can change overnight. Today is the beginning of Happy Valentines days from now on. No more mourning what is lost. He begged me to not stop being me...to not stop loving the way I love and to never stop having his back, because he needs me. He says we have to celebrate the team we are and how strong our family is to have survived the things we've survived. We HAVE been through hell and back and we are bonded together tighter for it. He left a bag for his sister and her letter was started as "To the sister I prayed for" ....when he was a little 4 year old he would kneel by his bed every night and press his tiny little fingers together and say "Dear God, please let me have a sister". Whenever my daughter is torturing him she says, "Dear God, LET me have a sister! And HERE I am!!!!" It makes me realize that even though we're missing a link we are still a strong chain. We added a link, my future daughter in law, and she is right there with us during it all. We will continue to add to our chain or team as my son called it and we will continue to weather life's ups and downs....together. And my sister reminded me this morning of something I have preached many times....God has it. I need to stop focusing on what I don't have and focus on the things I do. Wow....she's probably the only person who can say that to me without me getting my panties in a bunch 😎 But she shook me out of my sadness. Enough!
Yes, today was a horrible, tragic day 3 years ago. Probably one of the worst of my life. Yes, my life isn't what I hoped it would be at this moment in time but so what? It's pretty damn good. And through it all God will hold us in the palm of his hand and never let us fall...because after all....it's just a day in the life.
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