You can go your own way....you can call it another lonely day

Sometimes doing things your own way can create a lonely existence.  But isn't it better to be lonely than force yourself to live a lie?  In talking to my bestie from the country above me, we have once again realized many things in a short conversation on her drive to work.  Life is too short to fit into other peoples molds of what it's supposed to look like.  We realized last night that some people....okay MOST people do not look at life the way we do.  We never have fluffy conversations.  We don't discuss weather or food or plans for the day or clothing.  We discuss life.  We discuss purpose.  We discuss the past and how it relates to the future and the lessons we are learning and how to become the best people we can be.  The people we are destined to become.  It blew our minds last night when we realized not everyone does this.  What do they talk about, we pondered.  How can they look at things and not try to figure out WHY the patterns repeat and WHAT they are supposed to be changing or learning from each obstacle or issue that life throws at them.  What do they DO just ignore it?  Wow. Sad.  How can life ever get better if you don't figure out what's not working and why?  This brings me to this mornings chat.

I've been having difficulty sleeping for the first time in my life.  It is mind blowing to me that people deal with this for years and years and years.  The constant thoughts running through my head, fear gripping me, recurring dreams and messages and lying there just wanting sleep and it not coming.  Wow.  My heart breaks for those who deal with that.  Am I going to just say, damn now I'm one of them?  Hell no!  I'm not going down without a fight.  I figured out the reason for this and I will find a way to fix it.  So, I'm talking to my Canadian soul sister and we're running through 700 different topics in the 30 minutes we have to chat and what the main outcome today was....the hell with the experts and the leaders and what "they" say to do.  We need to find our OWN way and what works in OUR lives....all of us!  There is no cookie cutter recipe for success or happiness.  What works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another.  And for someone to THINK that their way is the only way just proves that they are small minded and pathetic.  Sorry.  Judgmental?  Maybe.  But that's my opinion and I'm entitled to it just like everyone else is.  And these so called "experts"?  Their view is most likely deeply rooted in their opinion...remember that!  Sure there are scientific facts that are valid and should be considered, but that's not LIFE! The only scientific fact that rules life is that we are all going to die...the rest is up for interpretation.  The only person who is an expert in YOUR life is.....drum roll please......YOU.  That's right dear reader...you are the only one qualified to make the determination for what is going to work in your life.  And here's the key.....the magic ingredient.....you need to TRUST yourself. Yes...yes that's right...trust YOU.  Not Abraham Hicks or Tony Robbins or Eckhart Tolle or Oprah and not even Deepak Chopra.  YOU!  Yes all of these "experts" have a lot of great information and tips to help.  Yes I've incorporated a lot of it into my life (except Oprah...not a fan 😉) but guess what? I had to learn to TRUST myself when something didn't resonate or feel right to me.  Yes...I'm slow and sometimes I spent months doing something that didn't resonate because ummmm duh, they're "experts" right?  WRONG!  My maple leaf bestie and I were discussing how those months/weeks/days of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole were lessons yes but a huge waste of precious time that we could have spent trusting our guts/intuition/higher self.

I woke up this morning (woke up HA that's a hot one...if you call what I did last night sleeping!) in a huge panic.  I was shaking inside and felt so drained and just a huge mess if I'm being honest (WHICH I always am for the record) and I reached for my coffee and my newest best friend....my 3 journals.  I wrote until my hand was going to explode and poof.  Anxiety gone.  Ready to face the day with my big girl panties (OK, granny panties) in place.  This new ritual I started at the beginning of the year of journaling and pulling angel cards for myself to start the day is life changing.  The cards aren't always clear these days but the journaling is a life saver.  1 is my journal of thoughts, quotes etc.  1 is a prayer journal...direct letters from me to the Big Guy upstairs---this one is the BEST thing I've ever done for myself. I pour out every want, fear, doubt, blessing...I express my gratitude and I make deals with Him.  That's right...I make deals, don't judge 💗.  If you send me this I'll do this.....YES some "experts" might say it doesn't work like that but guess what?  Those experts don't have my relationship with God, I do!  Maybe it doesn't work for everyone but it works for me.  And that...my friends is what it is all about...finding what works for you....not anyone else...you!  And if you find that the people in your life don't agree with what you're doing?  Then stop asking them for permission to live your life....it's nobodies business.  And from this "expert's" opinion?  If that's the case? You need some new people....just sayin'.  No one has all the answers....but you're the best one to ask....because after all?  It's just a day in the life...