You may say I'm a dreamer......

 Last week we celebrated Thanksgiving.  I know it's a month away, but we were all together and as I always told my kids I don't care if it's a Wednesday in April and we celebrate Christmas---when we're all together it's a holiday for me.  Now, I've been off my holiday game probably since my youngest found out that Santa isn't real. Being a person who makes an average Tuesday into a holiday has its pros and cons.  It means that the ACTUAL holidays are not as important and the stress and hoopla is kinda a nuisance to me.  BUT, I have traditions that I have created and my kids look forward to them so I continue them (or face the wrath lol).  Every Thanksgiving I give them each a decoration that they will then take with them when they move out of my home.  My oldest---nutcrackers.  So we have 20 something Nutcrackers that come out every December.  My creme filling son---it was snowmen.  His wife was a little underwhelmed with the amount of snowmen that now decorate her home, so a few years back I switched to just giving them a random decoration on Thanksgiving (I'm not sure my son likes this too much....he loved his snowmen).  When he moved out I realized that I really need to purchase some decorations of my own because 20 snowmen missing was a huge gap in the decor.  My baby girl started out with Angels and then she decided she preferred snowglobes so that's what she gets.  Well I normally have an extra month to get these things but when I returned from a trip on Monday I realized that I had less than a week!  I also realized that buying my Turkey on Wednesday (at full price for the first time in 32 years!!!) did not give it enough time to defrost in the Fridge....minor details.  I also realized that no one sells lemon pudding anymore!  Walmart online delivery to the rescue---my oldest needs his lemon meringue pie!  Ok, so....here we go.  The reason for this blog post----at least I THINK there is a message.

I actually convinced myself it was Thanksgiving.  I was shopping on Saturday for a new tablecloth because I did not have time to get to storage and get out my dishes and tablecloths etc.  I was irritated at how little Thanksgiving things were around, because ummm helllooooo tomorrow is Thanksgiving...oooh wait---no it's not.  And, shoot---late that evening the boys ate all the munchies during their Saturday night MMA fight night hoopla and I can't run out on Thanksgiving morning!  We even found the parade on You Tube.  My daughter woke up that morning and didn't understand why none of her friends were posting anything on social media about Thanksgiving.  We were really living in another dimension.  That brings me to my realization....

We can convince ourselves of anything---our imagination is a powerful tool.  If you believe it, you can create it and achieve it.  You can convince yourself of pretty much anything if your heart is in it.  

Spending a week with my oldest is really eye opening for me.  He sees me in a way that warms my heart.  He has truly seen me at my worst and at my best and he and I have been through really awful moments in our mother/son relationship, including nearly a year of not speaking.  We discussed how the mind works and why we are all (our family) able to live in this year of craziness and see the good in it, to see the reasons for a lot of it.  He knows so much about the subconscious mind and how to clear things out---he helps me process so much. We discussed visualizing things and how it becomes real. I've never been much of a visualizer--I can't see things that I imagine.  But I'm realizing that the things I cannot visualize are things that aren't meant for me.  Which also makes me realize that if I can imagine it than it's possible!  

I decided to take a course this month related to that Quantum leap.  It's teaching me a lot about myself and the fact that there isn't much I want materially in life.  When guided to try to manifest a thing----there isn't anything materially that I want.  Everything that makes me happy and makes my heart sing and my soul have peace has to do with relationships and the people I love.  It's a good thing and a bad thing at the same time.  What do I strive for?  What can I do to make my life better when the only things I want aren't things at all?  What can I do when people that are my priority have other priorities?  This is what I'm working on....trying to figure out what to do about this.  I want to say what's wrong with me?  But then I realize I don't know how to be any other way.  I've been this way my whole life- yes in the past I wanted certain material things (a home of my own, a new car etc.) but those were only to enrich the things that were really important to me.  The home was for my children and the car was for safety and the new car smell (I'm a sucker for new car smell). ...............

Well I will continue to work on this thing we call life....try to find new passions and things that drive me---but unless you can teach an old dog new tricks I'm not sure how successful I will be.

Happy Thanksgiving.....it's just a day in the life <3