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Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small

Today was an ordinary day....yet it was so special.  I had a really rough night.  I was up tossing and turning and fear was gripping my thoughts.  Tears were brimming and I just couldn't make it go away.  I tried desperately to go back to sleep and when I did finally fall asleep around 7 am I had some pretty bad dreams.  I was not looking forward to facing the day.  My sons were both up early and being that I sold our kitchen table we all sat on the floor and the stairs and started one of our infamous conversations.  It started with my creme filling son and me discussing a situation that's been ongoing.  Then my oldest asked to be caught up on the conversation so he could help.  It was a magical time.   We just discussed so many things about relationships, love, plans, time passing, I couldn't even begin to tell you what we covered.  What I can tell you is that I have raised incredible men.  I enjoy their company pretty much more than anyone else in the world.  My mood turned around pretty quickly.  I realized that no matter what life throws at me in the future I will always have them and I'm so blessed!  The time for all of us being together all the time is coming to a quick end....this summer is so bittersweet.  We are taking full advantage of this time together and I'm just so grateful.

It wasn't long before my daughter joined the party.  She's too young for the deep conversation we were having so we decided to work on putting together a playhouse that she had outgrown.  The four of us were laughing so hard I literally couldn't breathe!  It's rare that all three of my kids are on the same page at the same time.  Usually two are clicking and the third isn't on that wave.  Today they were like a rainbow spreading their colorful joy throughout the house and I got the pot of gold.
I feel so lucky. I'm so grateful for these blessings.  I'm so grateful that my dreams of being a mother were fulfilled, that I was able to plan each one of these children and raise them exactly how I wanted.  I got to spend every moment of their childhoods with them, never missing a beat.  I got to home school them until they chose not to be home schooled anymore. They all love me unconditionally....I can count on one hand how many times they have looked at me with distaste or anger.  They discuss all of life's challenges with me.  I know the not so perfect things they've done, because they've told me.  The relationship that I have with my children is pretty spectacular.  I find myself saying frequently that my children never behaved this way or that way.  I realize how very lucky I am.  When selling my kitchen table I realized there was not a scratch on it.  It is 14 years old! My kids were never destructive, wild or disrespectful.   I home schooled my kids at that table, served 14 Thanksgiving dinners, countless dinners, lunches, breakfasts....colored Easter eggs there for 13 years.  The memories are embedded in all of our minds.  I know a lot of people get emotional or melancholy when they feel those moments are over.  But instead I feel happy.  I feel excited.  I feel eager to see what the future holds for the four of us.  Our family will grow and add new memories to the already large treasure trove of happy ones we have.  And when you think about it....it's just a day in the life <3 p="">
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